Stay Focus to Love

Yesterday, I had a very enjoyable tea time with my friend, Michelle. She told me she had hugged her brother on his birthday. At first, she was worried about taking this action, cos this wasn't the "normal" practice in her family. But she told herself, she shouldn't wait for other people to show their love before she starts showing hers. She wouldn't care how her brother would react, she just wanted to let her brother know that she loves him. So she took the brave act. She felt really good after that. I was fascinated and inspired.

I had stretched myself by telling my mum a few times I love her. I am sure she got my message by now. So last night, to take a step further, I planned to kiss her good night. It really wasn't easy to take this action, as I find it very awkward. But I had made this declaration to my friend earlier, so I told myself I must do it.

I used a very cunning method, in fact. Before Aron went to bed, I told him to go and say goodnight to Po Po and give her a kiss. I said, "Mummy will also do the same." Aron went straight in to Po Po's room and did everything I told him to do. then he turned to me and said: "Mummy's turn". With lots of excitement, I went up to kiss my mum. Aron smiled. My mum? She was laughing so happily.

Thanks to my friends out there, who give me the support that I need to take this action. I felt really good.

Ever since my mum moved in to stay with me, we had conflicts so often, that I started to talk lesser to her and even avoided her. We could never see eye to eye on the maid's issue. The maid had become a wall between us. Even with no maid, it didn't help much. I always question myself why is my mum so controlling, so stubborn, so unreasonable, so insensitive, so unsympathetic and so selfish. She had never put herself in my position and understood my difficulties. I thought I would only get the peace only when she is no longer around. Or maybe, I should work a way out to let her stay somewhere else and come back occasionally. Her bitterness had not only affected me, but also to my entire family, as well as my relationship with my husband sometimes.

But now, I truly understand this - I had allowed these conflicts and issues to affect my emotions and block my focus of loving her. I realize these will never go away between us, so why should I let it ruin my relationship with her. By holding on to the considerations so tightly, I will lose my focus. This will not work for me and our relationship.

So, for now, whenever mum complains to me about the maid again, I am no longer affected, cos it is not important to me. I continue to show up my love. If there is a need, I will change the maid every 6 months, without getting myself frustrated anymore.