Mother's Love

I was about to leave home today for a temporary assignment which I have taken up 2 days ago, while I received a sms. It was a mother (my relative) who said her daughter had left home. My immediate thought: this mother's heart must be in great pain, she needed my support. Without second thought, I was at her place within half hour.

Through the conversation, I know the mother still love her daughter very much, cos she cried every time whenever I asked her if she wanted her daughter back. The answers were: yes and of course.

But things just were not working out between them, due to lack of honesty, trust and difference in moral standards. Maybe, the mother and daughter didn't know how to handle each other and their relationship. Yes, this is a life learning process, they have to put in their effort to learn it together. I also have a lot to learn for building a better relationship with my children.

Since the daughter was born, she has been her mother's pride. The mother had always seen her as a bright little pretty girl who has the potential to achieve great success. She would imagine that this little girl will grow up, have good and bright career, marry a nice man and have a happy family. This is every mother's wish and all mother's greatest happiness. It doesn't matter how much the mother would suffer, as long as they see the children having great life. Even her child achieve nothing, she will not love her less. In the mother's eyes, her child will always be a child, no matter at what age. She will always want to protect the child till she leaves the world. After experiencing close relationships with friends, boyfriends, husband and children, I realise my love for my children is the most powerful one. I think this happen to all mothers. How great is a mother's love.

I could imagine how painful it is to see her child turn her back and walk away. If my children ever do that, I think my heart will bleed to death.

To the mother and the family: its a rough time for you now, but my two cents worth of advice is: this is not a time to blame each other for what has happened (it is always easier to push the blame to others than to put the faults on own self for what has gone wrong), rather, it is a time where everyone do your best to bring the whole family back together and do not let it fall apart. While patiently wait for the return of the daughter, remember to continue to love each other (show it, the right way).

To the daughter: leaving home will not solve the problem, it is just a way to avoid and to worsen the relationship, not just with the mother, but with the rest of the family. If you still love the family, and don't want the family to fall apart, be brave to return home, for the door of your home is always open for you. If everybody has a common goal: to bring the family back, you will naturally find a way to work things out, by having an honest and open conversation and coming out with mutual agreements. If you want to show that you can be independent, you can still show it when you are at home, with the support from your family, of course.

I have been through teenage. At that point of time, I thought how come I have such a "shitty family", I also had thought of leaving home. Now, in my 30s, as a wife and mother, I am thankful for the kind of family that I have, which shape me into who I am today. I no longer remember a single thing which my mum hurt me when I was young, I have long forgotten all my hatred for her too. I just wanted to treasure the rest of my time with her, for she has little time left. I do not want to have any regrets of not treating her well enough.

Maybe we should start asking ourselves these questions: What kind of family do you want to create. What actions do you need to take to create this result. Can you put in your 100% effort to the actions. Have you take this as your own responsibility.

A mother's love - the most powerful love that I ever experience.