Virgin Productions

Lately, I have 2 virgin productions. First, I design the artwork for Aron's birthday goodie bag, followed by Asher's birthday goodie bag. See Picture 1 & 2.

Pic 1 Pic 2

Though the designs are not fantastically impressive, at least, they mark the beginning of my creative design. Sons, do remember, without you, mummy probably will not ever start to do this. Hope this will make you feel proud in school.


The next production is... ta-da....

CUP CAKES!

Well, I bought a new mini oven a few months ago, after getting rid of the microwave oven which was sitting in my kitchen for a few years as white elephant. So, I decided, I should not let my new mini oven become the next white elephant.

I followed a recipe from a blog which says: 15 minutes cup-cake, and it is suppose to be fail-proof.

Guess what, at my first attempt, I put in the wrong amount of milk to the mixture of sugar, eggs, and butter. Instead of 60ml of milk stated in the recipe, I mistook it for 600ml of milk! And I actually beat the mixture till I suspected something was not right. Lucky, I didn't complete the mixing and put it in the oven. So after realising my mistake, I told my maid to throw away the mixture. She stared at me with big eyes. Yes, very wasteful, cos its a big bowl of mixture with 3 eggs, that I was throwing away.

I repeated the steps again. This time, the amount of all the ingredients were added without mistakes anymore. But manually beating the mixture was quite tiring.

I made another mistake. I bought the cake cups which the size were too big for the pan hole, so the look of the entire cupcakes were not as presentable as it could be.

But, the taste.....its yummy, at least, for a first timer, I am satisfied with my results. Everyone in my family said its not bad. Even MIL who doesn't take any food with dairy product also tasted a small tiny bit, and think its ok. She suggested that I use "coa-coa" instead of "milk" next time, so that she could eat it.

I shall post the pictures of my virgin cup cakes soon.

Updates

Its been quite a while since I last wrote on the blog.

Since I finished the Asiaworks Advanced Course, I went chalet at Pasir Ris Coasta Sand Resort. Then I worked on Aron's birthday goodie bag design (I spent a lot of time on this, cos it was my first time designing, without much knowledge or any guidance. Though it didn't look fantasitic, it was my virgin production after all). Half way through, I got an acute appendicitis attack, got into TTSH for surgery. I was suppose to take up an assignment, working at an event, but got to turn it down at the last minute. 2 days after I was discharged, in my dizziness and swelling stomache, I continued with the preparation for Aron's birthday goodie, went sourcing for the gift items. Finally after Aron's birthday, I packed up for my family's luggage, and off we flew to HK.

HK was damn hot. As I had not been there for 8-9 years, I had forgotten many places which I used to shop last time. Its quite challenging to balance the time and places to go, to accomodate different interests for all the family members. My children only interested in toys and play areas, MIL and myself interested in shopping. FIL more keen in sight-seeing. My poor hubby, didn't even dare to think where he wanted to go, he is there to work, not to enjoy. We ended splitting up, going in different directions - obviously, I brought MIL for shopping, while Kenny and FIL looked after the children. Though Kenny went HK a couple of times, but I couldn't count on him for giving me the list of shopping places. In fact, I think I know the shopping areas better than him, despite I had not been there for a long time. Imagine, he didn't even know where to get the famous "Yuen Long Lau Po Bing" (which I was craving), and ended up walking down the street, searching for the shop, then came back empty-handed & with frustration. In the end, with much unwillingness, I bought the not so fantastic Lau Po Bing from airport.

HK Disneyland Resort was really a pleasant surprise. Even MIL said she had never stayed in such a beautiful and luxurious hotel in her entire life. The hotel staff was real sweet to upgrade us to the Premium rooms, as they couldn't give us connecting rooms on our request. The rooms were big and the beds were also very comfortable. My boys enjoyed bath in the tub, while my in-laws were pampered with the Bon Cafe coffee made from the coffee maker. The bedroom slippers could be brought home as souvenirs, but I only brought the kids size back for the boys, and I packed all the slipper bags (6 pcs in 2 rooms) into my luggage - they are really useful for keeping my large volume of shoes. With about S$300 per room night, I decided to just stay for 1 night. We were greeted by the Disney characters at the cafe during breakfast. They went from table to table to greet the guests, be it young or old, with their cheerful smile. We snapped quite a number of photos together.

As for the Disneyland itself, to me, it wasn't as good as the ones in LA and Japan, but at least, the boys love it. With their timidness, they only took a few rides which were considered the mildest ones, like the Train-Ride, Merry-Go-Round, Flying Elephants, Tea-Cups and "Its a Small World" - their favourite, cos its so pleasant and sweet. The boys were horrified by the jungle boat ride, which they saw animals like crocodile, snakes, elephants, gorillas, as well as skeletons along the way, that Asher cried so badly throughout. The last part of all - the exploding cave which came rolling out with fire balls and smoke - Aron also burst out in tears. So, you can see how much adventure my boys can take. Therefore, we decided to keep within their "safety zone". The fire works was beautiful, even though we were standing at the furthest possible place to watch. I managed to keep my frightening Aron watching the whole show by carrying him and covering his ears, then slowing uncovered them as he started to relax. In fact, there wasn't much loud sound from the fire-works, unlike those we see at National Day Parade. Maybe, they understand the children's fear. Despite of the little sound, Asher was still scared to death and refused to stay on to watch. The grand-parents, being quite protective, worried he would get "over frightened", brought him out of the park in no time and waited for us outside.

At the end of the trip, I was so glad that we were finally home, as it was really tiring. MIL only got herself 1 blouse and 1 bag, while I got 6 pieces of clothing and 4 pairs of shoes. Obviously my boys were loaded with toys. Kenny, with my guilt conscious of "throwing" the boys to him, got 2 shirts from me. The most pathetic FIL got nothing, and yet worked throughout the trip as nanny without complaining. Really appreciate his commitment towards my sons.

Just few days after we came back, Kenny popped out the question: Where shall we go for the next trip? What about Bali on 1st Oct? At first, I was thinking he might be referring to just me and him. I thought we deserve to go for a relaxing trip that is meant for just both of us and to charge ourselves up. To my disappointment, he was referring to the whole family again. As he brought this idea up to MIL, she begun to look forward to another overseas trip already.

Sometimes, I just wonder: is it that I am too selfish to think about enjoying myself without the children? Or is it that my man doesn't feel its important enough for us to spend some couplehood time. I had mentioned to him a few times about it, but nothing was planned or done so far. Apparently, i think this is not important enough to him, otherwise he would have taken actions. Or maybe, he feels that going for 3 hour Spa together every few months would be sufficient to sustain our romance.

Well, I can't complain much, cos after all, I do have a very very very committed and responsible man, that has done every possible things to keep the whole family happy, to the extend that he doesn't even get to rest on weekends. A man with absolutely no extra time for himself, I don't know if I should expect him to think about couplehood time.

Stay Focus to Love

Yesterday, I had a very enjoyable tea time with my friend, Michelle. She told me she had hugged her brother on his birthday. At first, she was worried about taking this action, cos this wasn't the "normal" practice in her family. But she told herself, she shouldn't wait for other people to show their love before she starts showing hers. She wouldn't care how her brother would react, she just wanted to let her brother know that she loves him. So she took the brave act. She felt really good after that. I was fascinated and inspired.

I had stretched myself by telling my mum a few times I love her. I am sure she got my message by now. So last night, to take a step further, I planned to kiss her good night. It really wasn't easy to take this action, as I find it very awkward. But I had made this declaration to my friend earlier, so I told myself I must do it.

I used a very cunning method, in fact. Before Aron went to bed, I told him to go and say goodnight to Po Po and give her a kiss. I said, "Mummy will also do the same." Aron went straight in to Po Po's room and did everything I told him to do. then he turned to me and said: "Mummy's turn". With lots of excitement, I went up to kiss my mum. Aron smiled. My mum? She was laughing so happily.

Thanks to my friends out there, who give me the support that I need to take this action. I felt really good.

Ever since my mum moved in to stay with me, we had conflicts so often, that I started to talk lesser to her and even avoided her. We could never see eye to eye on the maid's issue. The maid had become a wall between us. Even with no maid, it didn't help much. I always question myself why is my mum so controlling, so stubborn, so unreasonable, so insensitive, so unsympathetic and so selfish. She had never put herself in my position and understood my difficulties. I thought I would only get the peace only when she is no longer around. Or maybe, I should work a way out to let her stay somewhere else and come back occasionally. Her bitterness had not only affected me, but also to my entire family, as well as my relationship with my husband sometimes.

But now, I truly understand this - I had allowed these conflicts and issues to affect my emotions and block my focus of loving her. I realize these will never go away between us, so why should I let it ruin my relationship with her. By holding on to the considerations so tightly, I will lose my focus. This will not work for me and our relationship.

So, for now, whenever mum complains to me about the maid again, I am no longer affected, cos it is not important to me. I continue to show up my love. If there is a need, I will change the maid every 6 months, without getting myself frustrated anymore.

Beautiful Mum

I used to be the one who initiated kissing my boys. Then they would just reciprocate back in the same manner. Asher, being the shy boy, hardly kiss me back, unless I asked for it.

But these 2 days I felt something different. Asher started to initiate the kissing. Aron, who had been quite generous in giving kisses, continues to be as loving as ever when he kisses me.

I heard of a story recently, which touched me. It was about a mother's beauty that showed up out of love. This mother is a beautician, who looks simple and pleasant. It all just happened when she was talking to a customer about beauty. While its obvious that this mother's boss looks much glamorous, the customer told her that she just felt that the beautician is more beautiful. Feeling touched, the beautician started to share her story and her view about beauty.

The beautician told the customer that she has 2 daughters, of which, the elder one has become nun to serve the Lord, while the younger daughter is currently studying in a overseas university, majoring in mass communication and psychology. The young daughter has chosen to write on a thesis about "How to Deal With Difficult Child". Out of curiosity, the customer asked if the young daughter has any children or has been a teacher. The answers were nos. Then how would she know the best way of dealing with difficult children when she has no experience? The beautician answered "That's because she felt that she was a difficult child herself".

When the younger daughter was a little girl. She gave her mum lots of hard time, as she was really a stubborn little girl. Once, she would not tell her mum that she didn't want to take her meal. She said she would eat in her bedroom. So she took her plate of rice and dishes, walked straight into the bedroom, and locked the door. After a while, she took the empty plate out. Few days later, while her mum was cleaning her room, to her shock, she saw a pile of rotten food in the daughter's cabinet. She didn't scold her and she cleaned up the mess. She told the daughter softly, next time if she didn't want to eat, let her know.

This young daughter loved oranges, but she coughed very often. In order to keep the oranges away from the daughter, the mum kept them in the higher compartment in the fridge. One day, when the mum walked in to the kitchen, she saw her daughter standing on an inverted pail in front of the fridge. She was holding an orange in one hand and a knife in the other, and was trying to figure out how to cut it. Fear that the daughter might hurt herself by getting a fright from her loud voice, the mum called out the daughter's name gently, walked up to her and hugged her from behind. She told her gently that this was not the right way to cut the orange, as she might cut her own hand. She then carried the daughter down to the floor, took away the knife and orange, and showed her the way to cut the orange on the table with a cloth under it.

The daughter grew up and went overseas for study. She made new friends. Many of her friends went wild, once they were away from their families. They were, like prisoners, being set free from control from their parents. They went clubbing, taking pills & drugs, smoking, and even sleeping around. For herself, she didn't have the interest to do all these. Her mum had given her all the freedom to do anything she wanted to do since she was born and having the faith that the daughter would grow up to be a great woman. She felt she had received so much love from her mum that she wanted to love herself more.

As for the elder sister, who had chosen to serve the Lord, she had also received her mum's blessing. As long as that is what the daughter really wants and she will be truely happy doing it, the mum will fully support her and be happy for her. The mum just want the daughters to see the true beauty that comes from love.

In the past, my focus was to make sure my boys grow up with the right behaviour and manners. I would be very firm with them if they are not behaving well. I would shout at the top of my voice when they threw tantrums. I just want them to get my point. I had so much fear that they will go into the wrong path or directions. That would be the end of their future and my hope.

But now, I get to learn that I should have faith in them, believe that they will grow up to be great men, from the love I have for them. Whatever they have done wrong, it doesn't matter to me anymore. Cos if I take on these experiences with me, it will become an obstacle for me to show my love for them. My focus on loving them would be blocked out by my fear of loosing them as perfect children. Though they are not the perfect children and they do have flaw, but I would love them for who they are. My focus on them will be just love.

To all mothers, please continue to love your children and have faith in them. No matter how difficult they are, stay focus on what you want to give them. Anger, disappointment, frustration, etc, will only blocked out your love. Trust that everything else will work well. That is the greatest beauty of a mother.

Suddenly, there is a song that comes to my mind now - The Greatest Love of All.

To The Person Who Is Upset With Me

To the person who is upset with me now,

For things that I said these few days that hurt you badly, I am sorry.

I may have used the wrong words, or wrong approach when I am trying to show my care and concern for you. But in my heart, I just want to be honest and open with you.

I may have misunderstood you. I may have not tried enough to understand what you have been through. But I know for sure, life has been hard for you lately. You have been miserable, drained, stressed, lost and tired. I believe you have tried everything you can. You probably have so much anger that why despite after you putting in so much effort, things still don't work out. You probably have cried so many times. You needed support, you needed the power to live on. If consoling and comforting words could get the results that you want to see, I would do it a hundred times, a thousand times. But things will not change even if I can make you feel better. What I believe is to achieve results that you want.

I am not a preacher, a counselor or a psychiatrist. I just care enough that I want to give you the power to move on. I believe with my honesty and openness, you can feel that I really care and I really want to see miracle happen to you. I know you can achieve this, cos in my eyes, you are a powerful and loving person. You have so much power in you that you don't even know you have it. I want to bring this hidden power out from you, so that you can create miracle to your family and achieve the results you want to have. You win, I win. You loose, I loose. These are not consoling words. These are just the things I believe I can make it happen and you can too.

For whatever I have done, its my love, care and concern for you. I may not be the person that can give you much consolations and comfort. But I will be the person to give you the power that you need to achieve what you want. This will only be possible when you are committed to doing it yourself.